Remember

President Kimball said remember is likely the most important word in the dictionary. I agree.

Friday I interviewed at BYU for the Counseling Psychology PhD program. Saturday they let me know that I am an alternate and I get to wait and see how the people they offered spots to respond. Bummer. I really wanted to get into the program and maybe if a miracle happens I still will, but I'm not counting on it.

BYU has the biggest counseling center of any university in the US and the Counseling Psychology program provides a lot of opportunities to get experience there. I really want to work at a university counseling center, but maybe it is not meant to be. Apparently lowly counselors with just a Master's degree are not good enough for university counseling centers. At least there aren't as many options for me now as there would be if I got a PhD in Psych. Maybe that will change someday. Until then I guess I'll figure something else out even if it involves medicaid (Yuck).

I've been told "no" quite a few times now. It gets old. My career plans certainly haven't turned out the way I have envisioned them. I'm still not really sure how we ended up moving to Pocatello and going to ISU. I never would have predicted that but I wouldn't change it either. I've learned a lot.

I've learned that everybody gets their fair share of trials, but some people get way more than their fair share. LIFE IS NOT FAIR. Some people get it relatively easy and then there are people like Job. Personally I think I'll keep the trials I have. I could certainly have it worse and I know an awful lot of people that do.

I just wish I learned from my trials so I didn't have to keep having more. Many of my trials are self inflicted and some of them are just straight up imagined. Things are rarely as bad as we think. No one is picking on me even if it feels like it sometimes. That's where the remembering comes in.

I try really hard to be quick to observe (If you are not familiar with Elder Bednar's talk about it you should make yourself familiar) but unfortunately I'm no Mormon (the person not the nickname for my religion). I'm a slow learner and I forget things quickly. The good news is that I know it and I'm working on it. Two years ago after I finished my Bachelors I worked swing shifts, graveyards, and weekends for $9 an hour. I had a horrible job and few options. I'm in a lot better place now so I should be grateful right? Even if the options I have left after getting told no aren't exactly what I want.

So my invitation for you is to remember. Remember what really matters. Remember Him. I'll be working on it.

Death (kind of a dreary title, sorry)

I really enjoy couples counseling. It's a lot of fun. Lots of energy in the room. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative. This last month, I was able to counsel a couple who were separated and trying to get back together. They were late to one of their appointments so when I called to find out what was happening the wife informed me her husband had died of a heart attack the Saturday before. It was kind of a shock to say the least. I had heard him telling her how much he loved her and how badly he wanted to make things right just a few days before and now he is gone. Now our counseling will just be individual and focused on grief but I'm grateful I got to be their marriage counselor and I know she is very grateful he was able to express some of those things before he passed on. Hopefully I can be a decent counselor and help her through this rough time.

This past couple weeks of dealing with this client's death has made me reflect on an experience I had as a missionary. When I was still with my trainer in the mission field we had only one progressing investigator named Miguel Barrios. He was an 18 year old kid with a lot of energy. He wanted to get baptized and maybe be a missionary. On Christmas Eve we went to his family's house (His mom was a member and was inactive, the rest were not members), and we taught them about the word of wisdom, which meant no alcohol on Christmas eve. Most people in Paraguay make this fruit salad stuff laced with alcohol for Christmas and really get wasted, so he wasn't too happy about it. Anyhow the last thing I remember us saying to him before he angrily took off to his friend's place for a party was "don't drink!"

Christmas was a Sunday that year and when we showed up at church his neighbor told us Miguel had been killed. I'm not going to lie, it kind of ruined Christmas that year. We went to visit his family as soon as church ended and  they told us that he and some friends were breaking into a car or something stupid (they were drunk) and he had been shot by the police. I'll always remember sitting there with his family and trying to help them feel better. Eventually after I left the area they were all baptized. I remember being at the stake conference when Miguel's dad was sustained to be a member of the Melchizedek priesthood. They were so happy and happy to tell me about how their lives were changed.

Anyhow the point of the two stories is that you never know when it's going to be your time or someone you love's time to die. So say what you need to say!!! (i hate John Mayer but you get the idea).

Good luck in all of your relationships and don't forget to live in the moment. You can't change the past and you can't see into the future, just be where you are!

Thanks to all of you who make mine and Britt's lives better. We are grateful for you! I love my life and my wife :)

Happiness 101

We had a great time in Yellowstone in case you couldn't tell by the pictures! I love spending time with Britt and I love Yellowstone so obviously it was great.

So I don't write very often on here, but I might try and write a little more often because believe it or not, I do actually have some things to say. Actually I have quite a bit to say but I'm a really private person and I don't share my opinion unless I think people will value it. I'm trying to share what I think more often because I think my beliefs have merit. I'm trying to make a concerted effort to stand up for what I believe in (or maybe that should be Who I believe in) regardless of what other people think so I guess writing some of what I think on this blog will be a small part of that. Mostly my posts will probably be things I think about in regards to counseling and working with other people. So here it goes (if you just read this blog because you love Britt and would really rather not read what I write, I apologize in advance).

Isn't it strange we spend so much time talking about things that matter very little to us and so little time talking about thing that matter a great deal to us? Like talking about the weather or sports instead of how we really feel about things.... You know what I mean?

Anyhow today I want to share a little bit about what I have learned about happiness in my 26 years on this Earth. It is incredibly easy to look to the future and say I will be happy when _______.  I first became aware of this as a missionary although I'm certain I have been doing it for longer than that. In high school it was probably something like  I'll be happy when I'm on the basketball team, or when I have a girlfriend. As a missionary it was I'll be happy when I speak the language or I am the senior companion. Yet it seems like when those things happened I always replaced them with something else in the future and I was never really happy being where I was!

Now, I often catch myself thinking, I'll be happy when I have a job with a salary and benefits, or when I own a house and feel secure, or when I'm a dad or..... you get the picture. The point is I'm still trying to learn to be happy where I am right now! In graduate school, in debt, living in a basement apartment...Why is it so easy to think of all the reasons not to be happy when I have far more reasons to be happy?

I have a fabulous life and really most of us do. I hear some pretty horrible things on a pretty regular basis. People do some really heinous things to each other, but I believe happiness is a choice that no one can take away from us. No matter where we are and what has happened to us we can all choose to be happy. We can find joy in the journey.

It doesn't mean that we're going to be happy all the time. If you are happy all the time you are fake and if I was your counselor I'd probably do my best to make you cry. Nothing helps me to be happy like a good cry every once in a while. Life is full of ups and downs, you just have to love it for what it is. Anyhow, I want to do better at choosing to be happy and I hope as a counselor and as a human being I can help others to do the same. Stay classy and thanks for stopping by!

Oh and good luck on your quest to find happiness. Take time to make sure you are looking in the right places.

Random Thoughts at 4:20 in the Morning

Lets see how coherently I can write this late. Or should I say early? I always have things I want to get done when I work graveyards but they never seem to happen. I have a hard time being productive in the middle of the night even if doing the things I'm supposed to would probably help pass the time.

I don't know how Britt is going to be able to go another month waiting for Harry Potter. I think he kind of took over the blog. It's ok I'm not jealous. Besides we all know HP is the real "chosen one" not LeBron. LeBron should get that tattoo removed. Loser.

I'm ready to quit my job, but I like money and earning more of it before going into debt for graduate school seems like a good idea. I need almost every Saturday off from now until we leave for Pocatello so having weekends off will definitely help survive a couple more months here. Between the MTC and this treatment center I have worked almost every Friday and Saturday since I have been home from my mission. I'm pretty sure I can count the weekends I have had off in the last 4 years on my fingers. I'm thinking its time to change that.

I ran 7.5 miles yesterday. My legs are a little sore right now but not too bad. I'm serious about running the Pioneer day marathon next month. I'm going to run a half marathon on the 9th and we will see how that goes. I don't like running all that much but I like doing hard things and running 26.2 miles sounds hard. I like challenges and I like to push myself.

I read a book by Dr. Laura this week. I always thought of her as kind of a nut with a radio show. You know Sleepless in Seattle.... but the lady has a lot of interesting things to say and I like how direct she is. Someday I'm going to write some good books on marriage and family therapy. After I write some kids books (Britt found a Dr. Seuss biography for me to read at the library! Thanks babe!) and after I write my book on missionary work that is, well..... still being written. It's more than a few pages now though.

I guess it is time to watch a movie on Netflix before I try and drive home without falling asleep! Wish me luck! And whoever you are that is reading this I hope you have a great day! This paragraph has a lot of exclamation marks!!

What I Believe

I believe God is our Heavenly Father and He loves us. I believe He knows us better than we know ourselves. I believe in His son Jesus Christ. I believe He is our Savior and has felt each of our pains, sins, and weaknesses. I believe He did and will do anything for us if we are willing to follow Him. I believe that by following Jesus Christ we can return to live with our Heavenly Father with our families forever. I believe the Holy Ghost is the third member of the Godhead and inspires all men everywhere to be better and do good.

I believe The Book of Mormon is true. I believe Nephi, Alma, Helaman, Mormon and Moroni were real people. I believe they really did see our day and wrote the truth.

I believe Joseph Smith saw God the Father and his Son Jesus Christ. I believe Joseph Smith restored Jesus Christ's church and I believe Thomas S. Monson is a prophet today.

I believe that none of us are perfect but all of us can be.

Everybody Loves Britt, Especially Me

First off, Thanks to Katie for writing nice things about my wife on your blog! You made her feel great. I thought I'd write a few nice things of my own cause I happen to think she is pretty special. Besides it is the month of love so why not write a blog post all about how great she is?

I could just say she is like Jesus and be done with it but I'll be more specific. She is very positive. She never complains. One of my pet peeves is when people complain so one of the reasons I love Britt so much is because she doesn't. She hasn't had the easiest life but you would never guess it.

Britt might not be the most outgoing person but she sure does have a lot of friends (none of you except my Mom are reading this because of me). She loves to talk to everyone and is interested in all of the things her friends do no matter how long it has been since she last talked to them. I wish I could be more like that. I don't think there is anyone who knows her that doesn't love her. She is just too nice to not like. Everywhere we go she has a friend or knows someone, and I mean EVERYWHERE.

She is happy just reading a book or just being with me. We don't have to do extravagant things to have fun together. We can just watch sports or read blogs. One of us likes the former a lot more and one likes the latter a lot more, but sometimes we do them together! When I do take her out to do different things she is always very appreciative. She makes me feel like its ok that I have a degree and still don't make us any money. She does not act entitled. She is a good listener and she thinks more about others than she does about herself. She worries a lot about her family and friends and she loves them a lot.

Britt doesn't take too long to get ready. Most of the time she is waiting on me. Also she looks great without makeup (just thought I'd throw that in there cause its true). Even though she spends lots of time in class and at work she still plans great meals and makes me yummy food. I cook sometimes too but mostly because I like to.

Also she has an amazing smile. I think she looks like an angel (fine you're right, I don't know what angels look like but I can imagine!) when she smiles. She loves to have fun and she always makes me happy when I am stressed out or not feeling good (like right now, I hate colds and winter!!). I love that she has a great sense of humor and likes the same movies as me. Anchorman anyone?

She always makes me feel good about myself even when she probably shouldn't. She never makes me feel guilty about being at work a lot on nights and weekends. She doesn't tell me I'm a crappy husband even when I am. I do dumb things a lot but she always tells me I'm smart regardless and makes me feel like I'm doing a good job.

I can think of a lot of other reasons I love her, but since many of those are only reasons for me to love her I'll spare you. Don't worry though I tell her all the time.

Britt you're beautiful and you're the very bestest sweetheart! Thanks for loving me!

PS Go Cougars. Just had to throw that in there.

Ready for a Vacation

I'm just chilling at work again. Enjoying another graveyard shift. I'm trying to find the motivation to finish up my application for the MFT program at USU. I don't know why but for some reason I just don't want to write it. Don't worry I will because I have to send it tomorrow but I hate essays. Especially when the subject is myself.

I've been working lots of hours the last couple weeks. I'm tired and a need a break. My job is stressful and unfortunately some circumstances make it more stressful than it needs to be. I'll spare you the details because I hate whiners and I don't like to say bad things about other people. Not to mention that none of us are getting paid near what we deserve for the kind of work we are doing, but at least I have a job. Eight more months and I will be off to graduate school and afterwards hopefully I'll have a job with a salary and some benefits and I'll try real hard to never complain.

Christmas was fabulous as Britt already detailed. I love Christmas. Mostly I love being with family and taking a break from the mundane. Life gets so repetitive sometimes and I love holidays and vacations. I'm looking forward to stopping by in Las Vegas and going to visit Blaine, Brooke and Allie in Bakersfield!

I think I'm obsessed with vacations. I love them. I can endure a lot if I know I have one to look forward to. If I ever get rich traveling is one thing that I would definitely spend my money on. Fancy cars and a big house aren't really a huge draw for me but I love an adventure! They are even better now that I have someone I love to share them with!

Well I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and remember what matters most in life. Hint: It's not your bank account or your grades

and of course GO COUGARS!! and jazz!

Go vote for me!

So it's my Tuesday night grave yard shift. I need to do something to pass the time (Don't worry Britt those graduate schools and independent study classes aren't going anywhere) so I wrote my audition to be a JazzBot blogger. Its pretty awesome. I mean who wouldn't want my mad writing skills and insane sports knowledge? So go read my blog and vote!

http://www.utahjazz360.com/kylelovesjazz/lets-get-this-season-started/

Anywho if I win I get to write blogs twice a week for utahjazz.com and supposedly they give you some free tickets and Jazz gear and if you get assigned you get to interview players. Basically that would be wicked awesome so you should help a brother out (I know I'm not black but I can play basketball like I am)! Thank you!

Life is good even though BYU football is bad. Basketball starts in two weeks so at least we will see some high scores from somebody cause the football team sure can't score!

So I'm thinking I'll apply to BYU, USU, UNLV, Purdue and maybe CSU. Any other suggestions?? I'd be a good marriage and family therapist right?? I think USU is my first choice but I really wish it wasn't in Logan. You know, its just a bit far from everything and kind of cold....

Well I think I'll be on to Netflix now. Only 4 more hours to go.

Fallishness! Its a word, you've just never heard it before

So I'm sitting at work and it's 1AM. I've been here for 10hrs and I still got 6hrs to go. I smell like smoke because earlier we took them to a sweat lodge and they went through some ceremony with a Cherokee Indian. I read a book outside because I didn't want to be stinky for the next 14 hrs I was at work. That didn't work out to well for me. Oh well the smoke on me is a lot better than what most of the kids smelled like afterwards....

Monday night one of the kids snuck into the office and left porn up on the computer. I had to be the one to use it next. Tonight I had to restrain one of the kids for the first time. Sometimes my job is stressful and then I remember how much I get paid and it doesn't help me feel any better! I must get in to graduate school. That's what I tell myself every day.

The Braves are out of the playoffs and Bobby Cox is retired. Sad. Bobby Cox isn't too far behind John Wooden on my best coaches of all time list. I love my Braves and I wish they wouldn't have had so many injuries this year. At least BYU won on Saturday. I still love to watch them even when they aren't very good. I think that makes me a true fan. I definitely like watching more when they win though. Preseason in the NBA is too long. I want Jazz games to watch!! I hate cold weather but at least I have the Jazz to keep me happy.

Oh and I have a beautiful wife who also makes me very happy! Yay I blogged. You should be so proud of me (that 30 songs in 30 days was way too much to ask of me). Now I'm going to Netflix. I'll probably watch Pawn Shop Stars from the history channel. I'm not sure why I like that show, but I think it is so funny. Its like antiques road show only with guns and cool stuff. Stay Classy!

My New Job

I got a job with Heritage Youth Services. I work at a residential treatment center for youth who are sex offenders. Right now we only have seven boys but the house has room for up to 12. They can be handful but they are typical teenagers trying to figure out who they are. I really like working with them and they like to have someone who enjoys playing sports with them.

I don't get paid a lot, I work some crazy shifts, and I don't have benefits but I am just happy to have a job and do something that will help prepare me for graduate school. I filled out so many applications and I was so tired of looking for a job. I interviewed for the job and we went to the temple that night the next morning I woke up to my phone ringing with my boss offering me the job. I was so excited and it has been great so far.

Now I can focus on taking a couple independent study classes for graduate school prerequisites and other things I have been waiting to do. It is so stressful to not have a job and I am grateful for Britt putting up with me being so bored and moody. Now I just get tired from working but that is a good feeling. 56 hours was a lot last week, but I learned some great things in training and I am very excited for my first paycheck this week!

Meeting of the Mothers

Saturday Britt and I had lunch with my mom and hers! It was great. Britt finally got to meet my Mom. She is really nice. Like me. Hmm, maybe thats why I turned out to be such a nice fellow. So that was really good. I miss having my parents around, but they like Oklahoma so that is good (Remember how BYU beat OU, I totally do!). We had a good lunch and we talked about important stuff...I think, but I don't really remember....Anywho it was fun and our mothers talked and talked and talked! We both have great Moms.

Today we are supposed to take some pictures for those things you send to people. The ones that invite them to eat chocolate eclairs and bring you gifts when you get married!! Yeah those ones. Apparently its a big deal. I'll try and look nice but lets be honest no one is going to be looking at me anyways. Duh. I know I won't be... Yeah, I think she is cute.

Hmm other than that life is busy busy busy. I'm preparing for the GRE on Halloween (Its the bye in the football schedule). Ugh. I should probably be taking a practice test for it right now. FOIL, order of operations, all that junk that I forgot a long time ago and I really don't want to remember.

So I think I shall end this post, but tomorrow we will have been engaged for a whole month!! Only like 6 1/2 more to go.

Well it might be a while til anyone sees this dear because we aren't getting officially engaged til March. Just kidding Beautiful, it won't be too much longer. Patience is a virtue. Oh and I probably won't write very often either. Your good at that stuff, and lots of other stuff too, so i'll probably just let you take care of that.

Here is your random memory for the day though. Remember that time when we went golfing and you rented those cute pink clubs and you drove the golf cart around for us! That was great, and you can be my chauffuer anytime baby! Lets get your drivers license first though ;)

I'm blogging. Wow, times are a changing!

Hey. Am I doing this right? I should be sleeping so I'm all ready for my 2 year progress meeting at the MTC at 9am, but sleep is so overrated. Just like Oklahoma, Oh snap! Actually they are really good we just beat them so I guess that means we are good too huh?! Amazing game. Right up there with Miami in 1990. I remember that. I was 4 ;)

So I don't really know what to write about. I guess how great Britt and I are but everybody already knows and I hate to rub it in your faces. So yeah, tonight we went to the Blink concert. It was awesome! Travis Barkers flying drumset was one of the craziest things I have ever seen!! The company wasn't bad either, except for my "special" brother ended up having extra tickets so he sold them, but accidentally sold the ones that were next to us so he had to sit somewhere else. Too bad for him!

Labor Day weekend was fantastic. Playing at Britt's house was great. I love playing with Charity. I always wanted a little sister....I'm not excited to go to work tomorrow but thats life. At least I have a job that I love (when I'm there, but getting myself there is just as hard as any other job). Anywho tomorrow will be another great day because I get to be with Britt, and any day with her is a great day! I'm asking for a raise too. That should help pay for stuff..... ;)