Sunday, October 14, 2012

Death (kind of a dreary title, sorry)

I really enjoy couples counseling. It's a lot of fun. Lots of energy in the room. Sometimes positive, sometimes negative. This last month, I was able to counsel a couple who were separated and trying to get back together. They were late to one of their appointments so when I called to find out what was happening the wife informed me her husband had died of a heart attack the Saturday before. It was kind of a shock to say the least. I had heard him telling her how much he loved her and how badly he wanted to make things right just a few days before and now he is gone. Now our counseling will just be individual and focused on grief but I'm grateful I got to be their marriage counselor and I know she is very grateful he was able to express some of those things before he passed on. Hopefully I can be a decent counselor and help her through this rough time.

This past couple weeks of dealing with this client's death has made me reflect on an experience I had as a missionary. When I was still with my trainer in the mission field we had only one progressing investigator named Miguel Barrios. He was an 18 year old kid with a lot of energy. He wanted to get baptized and maybe be a missionary. On Christmas Eve we went to his family's house (His mom was a member and was inactive, the rest were not members), and we taught them about the word of wisdom, which meant no alcohol on Christmas eve. Most people in Paraguay make this fruit salad stuff laced with alcohol for Christmas and really get wasted, so he wasn't too happy about it. Anyhow the last thing I remember us saying to him before he angrily took off to his friend's place for a party was "don't drink!"

Christmas was a Sunday that year and when we showed up at church his neighbor told us Miguel had been killed. I'm not going to lie, it kind of ruined Christmas that year. We went to visit his family as soon as church ended and  they told us that he and some friends were breaking into a car or something stupid (they were drunk) and he had been shot by the police. I'll always remember sitting there with his family and trying to help them feel better. Eventually after I left the area they were all baptized. I remember being at the stake conference when Miguel's dad was sustained to be a member of the Melchizedek priesthood. They were so happy and happy to tell me about how their lives were changed.

Anyhow the point of the two stories is that you never know when it's going to be your time or someone you love's time to die. So say what you need to say!!! (i hate John Mayer but you get the idea).

Good luck in all of your relationships and don't forget to live in the moment. You can't change the past and you can't see into the future, just be where you are!

Thanks to all of you who make mine and Britt's lives better. We are grateful for you! I love my life and my wife :)

1 comment:

Evan said...

Thanks, Kyle. That's very good advice. Be happy at whatever stage of life & whatever your circumstances. The gospel certainly gives us reason to have a positive attitude.