We decided the word to describe the beginning would be "awkward" - and this is definitely more because of me than because of Kyle.
I haven't shared the full story on this blog before, so I thought I would today.
(Warning, it will probably be long!)
K and I met, as you probably know, in our singles ward. We lived in the Riv (Riviera), while going to school at BYU. I has moved in there in August 2008, to start my sophomore year. K had moved in in June of that same year, and was set to start his junior year. The first time I remember seeing Kyle was on the first day of church. I was sitting by my bff Dani (who was my roommate) in Sunday School when two tall, blond guys walked in on the opposite side of the room. I remember leaning over to Dani and whispering something like, "now those are two cute, tall guys!". Those two cute, tall guys turned out to be Kyle and his best friend and roommate Jay.
Now. Before this story goes on, it is important to note that my high school boyfriend has just left on his mission in July. And I was set on waiting for him.
Kyle's first recollection of me was talking to me at ward prayer (probably in September), and he remembers I had a wristband on that said "Elder A's Girl" on it, and I was excitedly showing it to everyone. I was not shy about the fact I was waiting.
K and I quickly got to know each other. He was assigned to be my home teacher. We were in the same FHE group. One of my roommates had been in the ward that summer and was really good friends with (and was crushing on) one of Kyle's roommates. We were thrown together all the time. And I liked it. Kyle and his roommates were all great guys, guys that I felt safe around, guys I knew that were there for me.
That school year I dated, cuddled, flirted a lot. I took "waiting and dating" seriously. I spent a lot of time with Kyle, as friends. At times, off and on through out that year, I had brief thoughts of dating him, but quickly replaced them with thoughts like 'we're too good of friends,' 'I'd hurt him,' etc. I think a little part of me knew, deep down, that he was the one for me, and would be the one to make me make a choice that I didn't want to make. So I stuck with dating boys who I knew I wouldn't become a competition to my missionary, as it were.
And Kyle and I became best friends.
I did still flirt with Kyle, though. On St. Patrick's Day 2009, we had a party at his apartment. We stuck in a movie (Far and Away) and most people drifted out during it. K and I stayed for the whole thing. And I did the whole lean-my-head-on-his-shoulder move.
Also funny to note is that I went on dates with a couple of his roommates, cuddled with one once, and I always wondered why Kyle was not asking me out! (I was dumb.)
We went on a group camping trip to Bryce Canyon in early May. It was an awesome time. I was starting to fall for Kyle more and more....
First date story: Happened some time in late May or early June.
I wanted to go see the play "The Giver" that BYU was putting on. I wanted to hang out with Kyle. So, I sent him a text (he thinks I called? who knows!) that said something like, hey I want to go to this show, if I buy tickets will you come with me? I tried to be totally casual. He said he would! Yes! That night he took me out to Arby's before the play, we went to the play, then we went and got Baskin Robbins and walked around BYU campus for a while. We had a really good time together. I remember kind of being embarrassed that he had made it into a date, when I was trying to be so casual, but I was also happy that he had! So many feelings.... :)
So we come to June. I had come to grips with the fact that my feelings for Kyle were not going to go away any time soon. I had conversations with myself where I tried to decide if I should say something to him, as I was pretty sure he maybe liked me too. I would make the decision that I wanted to date him, then turn it around before I talked to him. It also became apparent to me that perhaps another one of our friends liked him as well. This caused me more inner turmoil (dramatic, but true).
June 14, 2009 - a Sunday. We went to church, as usual, and sat by each other, as usual. We had plans to get together with his brother and his girlfriend later that night for dinner. He texted me right after church, and asked if he could come over. I thought that was odd, as we already had plans, had just seen each other, and we usually would just come over to the other's apartment without invitation anyway. But I said yes. And started getting a little nervous.
He came over. We sat on my roommate's love sac. We made awkward small talk for a few minutes. And then he told me. Our other friend (mentioned earlier) had initiated a talk with him the night before. She had told him that she liked him, and wanted to know what he thought, and she wanted to see if they could date. Here, he paused. And it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears. I just knew he was going to say he was now dating her. I had lost my chance. I would forever regret my hesitation. But then, he told me he replied to her with something along the lines of that he liked her, but also liked me, and had liked me longer, and wanted to speak with me. My heart stopped. I was frozen. I didn't know what to say. What I had dreamed about was happening. And what did I do? I made no commitments. Even though I knew that if I gave this up I would regret it, the only words that came out of my mouth were, "I don't know." K reassured me that I could take my time, that we would always be best friends, that nothing would change. He also told me that he did not expect me to give up writing my missionary. (He is wonderful!) Still, all I could muster was an "I don't know."
He left. I called my two best friends (Emily and Ayisha - Dani was in Africa!). I freaked out. Emily, bless her heart, said something like, go for it! Kyle's a great guy, and even if you do break up, he'll be totally cool about it and you'll still be friends. I knew I wanted to date him. I kicked myself for not telling him so before he had left. I was going to tell him that night what my decision was. And I was going to tell him the next day. And the next day (which happened to be my little sister's birthday, and he came with me to celebrate, and that was awkward since we weren't actually dating yet....). Finally, the 17th, 3 days later, we had this conversation.
Me: Hey... Remember how you said you wanted to date me?
Me: Well, I think, I mean, I want to, date you, if you still want to?
K: Yes, I do.
Me: Oh, ok. So, um, we're dating?
Me: Ok.. Bye. Have a good time at work!
Like I said. Awkward.
The next few weeks were also a little awkward, as we transitioned from best friends to boyfriend/girlfriend. We didn't kiss for the first few weeks we were dating. My fault. I was nervous. Dreadfully so. But it was fine. We ended up having our first kiss on the Fourth of July. I also still had pictures of another guy (aka, the missionary) around my apartment. That was awkward for Kyle.
But after those initial few weeks, things went wonderfully.
I knew I had to make a choice. I was falling too quickly and hard for Kyle to keep playing with both boys' hearts.
And so make a choice I did.
And it was the best choice I have ever made.
But that is another story.
And now, some pictures from when we were first dating:
(There are also some other fun stories that I keep remembering, but maybe those will come some other time.... But most of the important stories are in this post.) :)